three years of lover boy
For newer readers.... Here is a (condensed) post that I wrote almost two years ago about Welles' birth. I didn't know it was possible, but I think we now love him ten times more than we did back then....
We could hardly contain our excitement. Scott and I both have several sisters and expected a family of all daughters. Our first-born is a darling little girl whom we love to pieces. Upon finding out the gender of our second, we were over the moon to get to experience a son as well. I imagined little league, teasing his big sister, and watching sports with his dad. After months of staring at Scott’s baby photos, I hoped he would be a toe head with blue eyes just like his daddy! I already loved the little guy who kicked incessantly inside of me and could not wait to meet him. I found myself on Pinterest several times preparing the perfect nursery for our perfect little boy. Little did I know just how perfect he would be.
After a fast and rough labor they laid that sweet little boy in my arms. Scott and I were thrilled to have him with us. It was love at first site. I was flustered when they interrupted our beautiful moment to inform us of the possible diagnosis. They were ruining our precious first moments with our baby boy, causing unnecessary worry and concern. There was simply no way that our little boy had Down Syndrome! Obviously they were mistaken. They weren’t.
I'll never forgot the look on my husbands face when he came back from meeting with the neonatologist (they were wheeling me out of recovery to find him). At that moment, I knew they were right. Our precious new son did indeed have Down syndrome. We held each other and cried. Cried for the unknown which we feared. It took Scott about a day to process this news. It took me about a month to even wrap my head around the idea. I hear one parent always struggles more than the other. In our case, I was that parent. The love I had for him was so strong it hurt. But the worry and fear I felt was unbearable. After mourning the loss of the baby I thought we were having and accepting Welles for exactly what he was, I found incredible relief and such JOY! Each day that joy grows and grows.
Welles is absolute perfection. He radiates pure happiness and has the ability to make me feel so unbelievably loved. How could I have ever thought he might be a burden on our lives? He is exactly who he was meant to be. He is a teacher, a happiness provoker, an appreciator of the things we take for-granted and a light spreader. I wouldn't change one thing about our boy. After all, there's nothing down about him...
Every time I think back on that day, my eyes fill with tears. What memory stands out most to me isn't how fearful I was, the shock of it all or the way other people reacted-- though those feelings were all very intense at the time... But the clearest memory in my mind is the incredible spirit I felt. My brain was worried and afraid but my heart felt immense peace and joy. To know Welles is to know joy.
Welles' birthday party was a hit! I've never been a party throwing mom... In fact, if you know me, you may have heard me in the past say something along the lines of "I despise little kid birthday parties". Mainly because I'm no decorator or baker and I don't like over-spoiling with excessive amounts of toys. Do I sound like a scrooge or what?! But this year, I decided to throw a mad-bash with some of Welles' favorite things. It was simple and fun... And now I've been converted. I'm now a birthday-party-throwing-mom. Rented a couple of bounce houses, got a slew of pizza and picked up the most darling cake and treats from Sweet Tooth Fairy.... Amaaaazing. My favorite popsicles ever set up their stand and spoiled us with their gourmet Lick'd pops. The weather was perfect, the company-- fantastic and the treat were to die for. Now that's my kind of party.