As of lately...
Every night we try to put the kids down close to 8:00 or 8:30. About a half hour or so after we've finished Scarlett's long routine of singing, reading, prayers and cuddles, she yells from the top of the stairs "Mom and Dad! Come see my room! I cleaned it all! Come fast!". As if it's going to change in a matter of seconds we dash up as we've been commanded, to see a room with a clean floor. Not a toy touching the carpet. Then we look at the tops of her dresser, night stand and toy chest to see shoes, toys, blankets and more toys stacked in piles. But to our toddler, a clean floor equals a clean room! This has been happening nightly for the last couple weeks. Her efforts of cleanliness and impressing us are darling. The first couple nights I embellished emotions of pride. Now as I look at endless piles stacked (I swear it's far beyond what was actually on the floor) I try to explain that it's not quite clean until things are put in their correct places. Then we end our "cleaning" session by placing a few toys back in their homes and spend an extra half hour cuddling, telling more stories and singing a couple more songs, which I'm pretty sure was her plan all along. This phase of life can be pretty exhausting. I watch some women handle it like champs and feel like a real wimp for being exhausted at the end of most days. Having two kids so little and so close in age can be quite energy draining for this mom. It's easy to feel like I'm not doing enough, accomplishing enough or pushing them enough, especially having a child with special needs. Some days I get down on myself for not working harder on ABC's with Scarlett or crawling with Welles. Then I realize what these babies of mine really want and need, is extra cuddle time and a mom who isn't burnt out from trying to do it all... Which I am far from, btw. And when I say far from, I mean miles away.
Some days it feels like this season of life is never going to pass. Like I'm going to change diapers forever and clean up after every single spill and toy for a life time. Then I realize it's going by too fast (diapers excluded). Scarlett is becoming so independent and self sufficient. Welles isn't a baby anymore... While time is slower in the stages of development and I get him as a baby and toddler longer than most other children, he's coming into his own little fun-toddler personality, whcih is the funnest. I already miss the floppy little baby he used to be.
I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I love each new phase of my kids growth, but I know I need to slow down and enjoy these little things, like a messy/clean room;).
In other news, I am determined to potty train Scarlett this week. By announcing this I feel like I can't fail... Again. Yeah, see what I mean when I say I'm far from doing it all? Scarlett is plenty capable, plenty old enough and still not potty trained. I'd say that's some pretty good under-achieving on my part. I know a lot of people wait on potty training, but this girl has been showing "ready" signs for a long time now. I'm dreading it as the first attempt almost sent me into a nervous breakdown and showed me the power that a three-year-old has over me. Heaven help us. If this incredibly boring potty training book doesn't teach me how this works, I will be terribly angry for the time spent reading it and trying not to fall asleep. Any tips? Send my way!
My little teenager.... For heavens sake, stop trying to look so grown up, child.