My sister and I "joke" about boy moms. They're just so naturally cool... Why is it that when you have a clan of boys, you're the chill mom who just rolls with motherhood? But when you add even one girl into the mix, you're immediately shoved into a different category? Somehow dealing with girly emotions and pulling your hair out over little dramas throws you into a more high strung arena.
While I don't have the cool label of "boy mom", I am pretty grateful to have a foot in both worlds. I think I have the stereotypical set up so far... two emotionally-mellow, yet super physically active boys and one very feminine, emotionally-needy little girly girl. Much girlier than her mother ever was. I know these roles don't hold true in many homes, but in ours, so far, the boys are total boys and the girl is all girl.
If I'm being honest, my boys physically drain me throughout the day. Between spoon feeding, diaper changes, stopping them from breaking/burning down the house or escaping, they have me worn out at the end of each day. But my girl... she's a whole different kind of exhaustion. She doesn't make catastrophic messes, in fact she likes things tidy and in special places. She doesn't get into toilets or throw food all over the floor, she's always been pretty easy to clean up after. But the emotions and talks are a huge part of our day-to-day. She needs to feel very secure and understood in every thought and feeling that she has, which are many. She feels very vulnerable and hurt if a friend says something mean to her or if she hasn't had much one-on-one time with parents that week. She has a deep need to be heard and craves words of affirmation that are genuine and true. She can dish out a lot of sass and often gets herself into trouble for it... but she can't stand it when she feels like one of us is disappointed in her. She needs a lot of love and tenderness, especially in those moments that it's hardest to give it. You know, the moments you've just been told that you're a mean and awful mom... Usually when I hear those kind of things, I know that it's because she needs me even more than usual... and it always ends in cuddles and "I'm sorry's".
So yes, my boys exhaust me and make my body feel old and weak. But my girl can take it all out of me mentally by the end of the day, which can be harder for this mama.
So have I talked you out of wanting a girl, yet?? I hope not. Listen up, this is where it gets good... What do us "girl moms" get besides sass, PMS and drama? What makes it all worth it you ask?? Well for this girl mom....
My Scarlett has a love, loyalty and devotion to her family that is so touching. She is my sidekick and best friend. Every day when she says "mom, let's have girl talk" I melt into a puddle and pray that she always wants to have "girl talk" with her mommy. She confides in me with her cute little five-year-old secrets. She can't go to bed without telling each person that she loves them and gives her brothers smooches and snuggles generously. She feels everything so deeply which gives her empathy for those around her. While she can sometimes drain me mentally, she has a way of filling my emotional cup and reviving me.
I am always amazed at how in-tune she and I are. I can be having an off day, a frazzled day or just a down-right crappy day, and while I'll do my best to hide it from her, she still somehow knows and feeds off of that energy. She forces me to pull out of it because she needs me. She needs the best of me. She pushes me, and someday I will truly thank her for that.
Though I am not able to be the chill "boy mom" that I secretly think is so cool, I am able to have the most wonderful little sidekick and best friend for life. Loving being her mom right now and always.
Exquisite photography by Lizzyography