Letting go
As I’ve mentioned before, this pregnancy has been a real struggle for me in the hormonal department. I’ve found myself feeling so out of control over my feelings and emotions and it’s getting a tad embarrassing. I mean, you can only apologize to a three year old so many times before it gets humiliating. Eventually she’ll roll her eyes and say “yeah, yeah mom… Ya let the crazy out of the bag, again.” Joking, but also slightly serious. When I hear people say each pregnancy gets harder, I want to stand on a chair and yell, “AMEN!” Thank heavens for new days. While I ramble about this struggle to get a hold of myself, I should also mention that I’m learning the valuable lesson of letting things go. Not to quote Elsa like your toddler at home, but she was really onto something with that phrase… I’m working on it and have a long way to go, but just taking a deep breath and saying “let it go, woman” to myself makes the day go just a little smoother. You see, I have this one toddler who really enjoys pushing my buttons. She feels every single emotion so deeply and dramatically, which leads to us spending a lot of the time discussing better ways to channel those emotions. Sometimes I have to walk away during a melt down over how her rice is served so that I don’t fly off the handle and sometimes it’s just too darn late and off the handle, I fly! Those are the times that I usually wish that I had just let it go. That same little toddler has also been my sweet little helper this pregnancy, so I really need to her emotional/teenage ways, slide.
One of the hardest things for me to let go of, is letting my house come second in how I spend my time… Living in a mess doesn’t work for me. It actually makes me crazy, which is funny considering my friends tease me for my chaotic-living, ways. In college, I used to let my 96’ Ford Bronco run out of gas on the side of the road regularly. I’d hitch rides until payday, then find it on the road I left it with markings from highway patrol (stating the day it would be toed if the owner didn’t move it) and fill it up with my recent pay check. I mean, I was all kinds of disorganized back then. While motherhood has really wiped me into responsible shape, I still kind of live in chaos. My kids have never had set bedtimes, we’re almost always late for appointments, I've driven off without my groceries at least seven times this year, I maybe cook twice a week (now I’m making you feel bad for my family…), we love last-minute family trips and adventures and I still wait until the gas light comes on. But my house… I loathe living in a messy house. But let’s face it - kids are mess-making little critters on a mission. Everything they do involves MESS, therefore letting go of a usually tidy home has been one of my latest and greatest challenges. But I don’t want to miss snuggles and chats with my babies for a mopped floor. I don’t want to skip date night to clean bathrooms. Turning down a chance to have “girl talk” with Scarlett just to steam my living room rug isn’t going to make me happier or strengthen our relationship. So here I go trying to be a better prioritizor. Here’s to letting go of the things that stress me out and make me a hot, hormonal mess for the things that make me happier. And here’s to hoping that I will get my pregnant emotions under control! ;)
Pics below from our fun night at Cornbelly's. Both kids were too darn distracted to give mom and dad the time of day. What a blast!
