Surprise...

Unexpectedly pregnant!  Let's start from the beginning.  About ten or so weeks ago, I woke up early one morning feeling anxious.  "Aunt Flow" was pretty late.  But it would be rather unlikely for me to actually be pregnant...  We were pretty careful and I'm still breastfeeding (TMI, sorry).  Even though I was sure it was just the breastfeeding causing my "time of month" to be irregular, I snuck out of bed and dug through my bathroom cabinets for a pregnancy test.  To my surprise, I actually had one from before Welles.  I quickly took it and not even a few seconds passed before the "pregnant" line appeared, dark and clear.  No flipping way....  I believe those were actually the first words out of my mouth. It's my style to keep it open and honest.  I feel guilty about this honesty considering I have a lot of close, loved ones and I know many others who struggle with fertility.  Let me be clear when I say that I am so incredibly grateful for my babies and how easily they've come.  BUT when I saw that positive test, I was terrified and overcome with anxiety.  Scott has been ready for months to add a third (mind you, he's at work all day;)).  I had been telling him to get back to me in a year or so.  With Welles' development and all the work that goes into raising a child with special needs, I planned to space the next out a little further.  But truthfully, my biggest reason for wanting to wait is that it was so hard for me to imagine having a baby because Welles IS my baby.  While he is technically a toddler, he is still my mommy-loving, tender, angel-like baby boy.  With his delays, I still get to enjoy the baby phase with him.  The thought of filling that spot with another little one and splitting my baby-smothering time seemed very difficult in the beginning.

Fast forward a couple months and I am thrilled.  This baby and it's timing is exactly what is meant for our family.  It's perfect for us and even more perfect for Welles.  Scarlett is also thrilled and frequently asks to kiss my belly and hug the baby!  Not to mention, the idea of having a bumper on each side of Welles in school, is a HUGE relief.  He'll always have someone watching after him.  Also, I'm stoked to have a tiny human who can't crawl away from my smothering.  Bring on three!  Under four years....  Yikes!